Twitter favorites.

Sorry for being MIA for so long. I was S.I.C.K. last week. What started as a cold turned into an ear infection (probably a double one, but at the time I went to the doctor it hadn't moved into the second ear yet), and I think it eventually ended up as a sinus infection. I still only have about 70% hearing, and my teeth hurt on the right side because of how much pressure is in my sinuses. I pretty much spent all of last week in bed or on the sofa, and Lorelai watched more TV than I think she's watched in the past 6 months combined.

Needless to say, I did not have the energy or brain capacity to blog.

And now I have to play catch-up with laundry and the like instead of trying to think of something to actually write about, so I'm going to take a page from many of my friends' books and share with you some tweets I have favorited so far this month. I have some funny, funny friends. My comments in italics.

@TemerityJane: "You and your sister went through a ROLL of toilet paper a DAY." I refuse to apologize for our vaginas and buttholes, PHIL.

@MegglesP: Oh god y'all. Om dtunk. Thank hod for autocortecy

@vandeblogger: @HonestToddler No tweets until 7 am EST? I assume that means you "slept in" & that you intend to refuse a nap & be in meltdown mode by 5 pm (If you don't follow @HonestToddler, go do it right now. Especially if you actually have a toddler.)

‏@MollyLovesShoes: Stuff you can't make up: my MIL is arguing with me because I don't want to get a goat (?) and keeps asking how much weight I've gained.

‏@lebean: 1) don't put ketchup on your hashbrowns 2) don't put ketchup on your hoo-ha. Rules to live by, people!

@seliahm: Lauren and I just played a game called Open 50 Shades of Grey and Try to Find a Chapter that Doesn't Make You Feel Uncomfortable.

@MariaMelee: No one's going to wear a maxi dress as well as @jonniker did this summer. (For anyone who doesn't follow @jonniker, she gave birth 10 minutes after arriving at the hospital -- wearing the maxi dress she arrived in, because she didn't have time to change.)

@TemerityJane: Found myself every so slightly huffy at Pen for pooping in my favorite diaper. This is why we joined a playgroup. Need out of this house. (Story of my life, right here.)

@dashoff: My daughter just came home from school wearing her uniform skort backward. The shorts are in front, you guys.

@Kate_Welsh: Things that will never not drive me crazy: People who don't understand the difference between "weary" and "wary." It's not that hard. (YES. OMG.)

@mrsdangelo: It would appear that Eriana figured out how to open new packages of baby wipes. http://instagr.am/p/LiTJ4gG1YQ/

@jonniker: Look, Karina Smirnoff, I'm the biggest defender of 50 Shades, but don't insult us by telling us you liked it because it's "so well written."

@james80d: FYI, i'm thinking of doing a 50 SOG fanfic where they're just normal people (writing quality the same)

@james80d: might make Christian Grey's character a vampire and Ana's character super boring #originalthoughts

@purplelara: Hmm smells good I wonder what’s cooking OMG the element underneath this box I am packing IS ON, time for a break.

@purplelara: In case any one ever wondered if I was a picky eater or not, please note I just thought a cooking cardboard box smelled good.