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Because of course, I was at the end of my rope last Wednesday, and of course, that was also (mostly) the end of her ridiculousness. It didn't help that I was also hormonal, so I was extra tired and extra cranky ANYWAY. But this weekend, I went to visit a friend and I got to sleep for like 10 hours two nights in a row, and it was amazing and I feel like a new person. And apparently Lorelai wasn't too bad in her sleeping for Kevin either, so it seems it was a phase that is now, blessedly, over (until tonight, because I dared mention it here on Ye Olde Interwebz).
But thank you all for your comments. And I want to address some of them and will do that now:
Lorelai is, as Laura Lou mentioned, a tension increaser. The longer we let her cry, the louder and more frantic she gets. Sometimes. At naptime, she fusses a little before she falls asleep but it's no big deal. She usually wakes up after about an hour and a half, and sometimes she fusses and then goes back down (this can take up to 20 minutes, but she never gets to epic screaming levels) and sometimes she's UP. Tired and not ready to be up, but too awake to go back to sleep. We had a lot of that the past few weeks.
Sunk Costs suggested giving her stuff to do in her crib so I can go back to sleep. Oh, how I wish this was a possibility. She has toys, books, and a sippy cup in her crib, but to her, the crib is a sleep cage and is only for sleeping and crying. I can't even plop her in it for two seconds to go to the bathroom. She's never liked her crib or the pack 'n play, and no amount of toys and books seems likely to change that.
I do, occasionally, if we're in the middle of a bad stretch or if I'm not feeling well or if it's one of those days where I just.can't.get.up., get her a snack and some milk and sit her on the floor in my room with a DVD on. I'm lucky that I can (mostly) sleep through the dulcet tones of "Elmo's World" (ha), but I really try to reserve this for those days when I'm legitimately sick or when she's up and ready to party at like 5 am. Because I know if I do it on a regular basis when she's having a bad run, I'll do it even when she's having a good run, because even when I'm rested-ish, I don't want to get up at 6:30 (which is about the latest she'll sleep these days, ugh).
Laura D., I do not know how you go to bed at 8:30. God, I wish I could do that (Kevin also wishes I could do that, because he'd love to crash out early!). I have to be physically sick and also exhausted to go to bed that early. This stems from the same problem that has me unable to wake up at 6:30 -- I'm a night owl. I've had to totally recalibrate my system to be able to deal with Baby Time, and even now I'm on a 10-6:30 type of schedule and that's pushing it. Doesn't matter how physically tired I am, my brain will NOT shut off before 10, and usually not before 10:45 or so. (And I wonder why I'm so tired all the time.)
I was thinking about it this morning, and I used to be able to drag my butt out of bed to go to the office with no problem. Well, without a huge problem. I'd go to bed at the same time I do now (or later), get up around 7, and go to work and function without having breakdowns each month about how tired I was. But at work, I was just sitting at a desk, and then I came home and sat around some more. I wasn't chasing a toddler around all day. And even if I was working now, sitting at a desk, I'd be coming home and chasing a toddler around. Chasing kids is EXHAUSTING! No WONDER we parents are all strung out and sleep-deprived all the time! Even when we're sleeping through the night, we're working harder than we ever used to!
I've definitely had a lot of moments since Lorelai was born where I've thought, "Why do I want another one? Why do I think I can HANDLE another one? I can barely function with the one I've got!" But even when I'm at the end of my rope, I know that it will pass, and I know that the good times far, far outnumber the bad. As exhausted as I am most of the time, and even though I frequently come here to whine about how hard it all is, I would gladly have a thousand kids with exactly Lorelai's issues (or worse!) as long as they were all as amazing and awesome as she is when she's being amazing and awesome.
And I have to say, I almost bailed on my trip this weekend because she was being so awesome. I almost did not go and visit my friend and her new(ish) baby because I wanted to stay home and play with my awesome kid.
So, yeah. There are days I want to throttle every single living creature that crosses my path. Usually those are the days when I'm PMS-y AND Lorelai isn't sleeping AND the dog is being an idiot (see: all of last week). And I know it'll all pass, but thank you guys for letting me come here and vent and for not judging me.
This parenting thing is full of suck sometimes, but there's an awful lot of win, too.
3 comments:
That picture made me say "AT!!!!" to my computer monitor :)
She doesn't say "At" anymore! It's so sad to me, she just won't do it! She won't say cat or dog or anything else in place of it either, except "whatsat?" even thought she clearly knows what a cat and a dog are.
Sorry you are having sleep issues with Miss L! That is so hard!!! But you nailed it: all the sucky times are so quickly forgotten when they are over. Like flying with Ethan this past week. My back was spasoming from him sitting on my lap, I was exhausted from waking up super early to hit the road, and all I wanted was a drink and to read my book in peace instead of entertaining him for 3.5 solid hours. But as soon as we landed, my brain blocked out the misery and all I could think was "That wasn't so bad! What a good boy!" I swear our brains do it just so we'll have more. :)
PS, I'm totally freaked out about #2 as well. But yet we are still full steam ahead trying. I keep telling myself "XYZ has two kids and handles it just fine! Therefore I can do it!"
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